How do we deal with besetting sin? This is one of the hardest questions of the Christian life.
A common way to deal with besetting sin is to present it as unthinkable. Those drawn to a sharp form of spiritual idealism might say something like this when engaging a Christian who has just confessed to wrongdoing:
How could you do that? Don’t you know sin is cosmic treason against God?! Don’t you hate your sin?! Don’t you see how filthy that action is? You’re living like someone who isn’t even a Christian! You’re such a terrible person, and you’re in massive jeopardy. You’ve sinned, and that sin may well be proof that you’re not even a believer!!!
In technical terms, this response contains a serious dose of truth. Sin is awful; sin is cosmic treason; we should hate our sin; it’s terrible when we sin and thus live like an unbeliever. But with these matters affirmed, here’s the reality: Christians sin. We do what we should not do. We live like we should not live. We all stray from the good paths and walk in the wilderness. We all think, desire, speak, and act in ungodly ways that shame us and dishonor God.
None of this means that we should go soft on sin. We should do no such thing. But given the reality that we all stumble in many ways, even as believers, how are we supposed to live (James 3:2)? It is great to call Christians to fight sin preemptively by a steady intake of the Word, a cultivated prayer life, service to the church, and so on; the spiritual disciplines taught us in the Bible matter tremendously. But still: what about when, despite all that grace-powered effort, we falter? What then?
We will all be seriously tempted to hate ourselves, if I may speak rather directly. When we sin, we can easily enter into a cycle of shame. Instead of running to God for forgiveness and tender mercy, we can run away from God. We can lacerate ourselves in our minds, despising ourselves, hating ourselves, wallowing in misery. Instead of looking upward, we look downward; but not only this. We turn inward. God seems small to us; our guilt and self-hatred seem mountainous by comparison.
There is a much healthier way to deal with besetting sin, praise God. It is to hate sin, absolutely, but to run toward God, not away from him. Instead of retreating to the sewers to let our self-hatred and shame fester, we can go to God. We can confess our sin (for the 10,000th time). We can repent of it, turning from it in our heart and mind. We can claim the forgiveness of God afresh, and know that God delights to forgive.
In such an approach, here is how we might respond to someone who has confessed ongoing sin to us:
Your sin is awful. So is mine. But here is the incredible news: God is merciful to us both. God wants you to come to him. He is faithful and just to forgive us all our unrighteousness as we confess it to him (1 John 1:9). He does not hate you; he loves you. He wants you to draw near to him, because he wants to restore you. Run toward him, not away from him. God knew from eternity past that we would need this fresh forgiveness, and he joyfully offers it to you through Christ. He wants you to overcome it, and he wants you to grow.
In such counsel, we are in no way telling people that it is great to sin. Nor are we encouraging them to continue in the particular pattern of sin that they may well be embracing. To the contrary, we urge them (and we ourselves!) to not go in that woeful direction. Here’s some additional charging we might give to someone who is in a serious sin-pattern:
Do whatever you can in practical terms to overcome this sin. Pray much about it. Stock your mind with biblical truth regarding it. Take actionable steps to address it. Move the computer out of your room; put the phone in a box outside of your bedroom before you go to bed; have a friend text you for accountability; do whatever you can think to do to fight this tendency, and oppose it. All this is from grace and powered by grace, not by you, ultimately. God is your help, and your hope, and your forgiveness—not you!
The point here is that the way to attack sin patterns is not one thing; it’s many things. It’s knowing truth about God’s loving forgiveness through the cross of Jesus; it’s remembering that God our heavenly Father wants us to come to him and confess sin; it’s praying to find victory in the small things of life; it’s taking every step we can to address our struggle and set ourselves up for victory.
The formula for overcoming besetting sin looks something like this:
Forgiveness + Father’s care + dependent prayer + actionable piety = overcoming sin
This is, I would assert, something close to what Scripture offers believers as the “cure” for sin. We all long for the total eradication of our flesh. We yearn for the day when we no longer have to battle internal desires and unholy instincts. We rightly grieve our failings, our unkind words, our lacerating judgments. But all this is only part of the story.
We must embrace a Godward perspective on our sin as Christians. We must know that our sin has not caused an emergency summit in heaven. Our transgressions have not caught God off guard. Our iniquities have not left God spinning, wonder whether he should cancel our salvation like a frustrated parent trying to decide whether their child’s offense now must derail the long-planned sleepover at the best friend’s house.
God knew all our sin when he chose to save us. God chose to forgive all the pre-conversion sin, but also all the post-conversion sin. God knew that our sin as believers would violate every tenet of the covenant cut for us by the blood of Christ; he knew that we would commit treason; he knew that we would, like Peter, deny our Lord and Master repeatedly. But this is not the final word. God’s mercy and grace is the final word.
This means that, when tackling sin-patterns, we must be God-centered. We do not teach a God-centered vision of atonement, but a man-centered vision of sin. Let me double down on this: even our vision of sin must be God-centered. Yes, it’s quite true. God must come into the police station with us, as it were, when we commit crimes against him. God must sit beside us as we tearfully confess our wrongdoing. God must hear our confession, in fact.
God does so, and yet God does not go wild on us. In hearing our confession and repentance, God does not throw his folding chair at the window, crack the glass, let off a string of curses in our name, and attack us. No, God hears our admission (already knowing it in full, even deeper than we ourselves know it), and then God calmly and tenderly pronounces us forgiven. Through Christ.
I urge Christians out there to remember the kindness of God. But I don’t mean that in a generic way; I mean it in a very specific and particular way. I mean it in terms of this unique pattern: your ongoing sin-struggle. I urge you not to live in shame and man-centered guilt. I urge you to run toward God, not away from him, when you sin. Be honest; be truthful; be tearful; be mournful; but be hopeful. Pushing things further still, be joyful.
Let me clarify. Don’t be joyful one bit about sin, and don’t sin that grace may abound (Romans 6:1). Yet even as you mourn your wickedness, rejoice in your Savior. Jesus died for just this sin. Jesus died so this moment could happen, so that you would hate your iniquity, but rest in Christ and not your own righteousness. God hates your sin, but God loves you, and summons you back to himself. God is not slow to forgive, but to the contrary in extremity, God is quick to forgive.
How do you defeat besetting sin, in sum? Simply this: when you bring yourself low, you look up to God.
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth (Psalm 121:1-2).